With the spotlight now firmly fixed on Thaksin's ability to meet the Premier League's 'Fit and Proper Persons Test', Purelymancity can exclusively reveal the questions our new owner will face:
Premier League: Have you ever been sentenced to 12 months' probation for 'bookkeeping offences'?
Premier League: Have you ever stolen Russia's oil reserves?
Premier League: Have you killed as many people as Tom Hicks' business buddy George W Bush?
Thaksin: Definitely not.
Premier League: Have you ever been fined £6.7m by the OFT for fixing the price of replica kits?
Premier League: Did you make your money from wank mags?
Premier League: Have you ever bribed a British MP or been refused a British passport on the grounds of being "not of good character"?
Thaksin: No, on both counts.
Premier League: Is your daughter free for a date?
Thaksin: Out of the question. Pinthongta only wishes to marry a middle-aged City fan, ideally an overweight smoker who enjoys pub quizes. Once she is betrothed to such a man I will give him a palace, a £10m dowry and a seat at the stadium made out of gold.
Premier League: Mr Shinawatra, after careful consideration we have decided you have a shady business history and appalling human rights record. Welcome to the Premiership.
Thaksin: That's Dr Shinawatra to you. Remember, I can have you shot.